...and other misconceptions I made 07-02-24
2007 Feb 24
February 5th 2007
Eating my words…

Posted by D under adoption-process

I posted about the new CCAA “rules” a month ago. And I didn’t mean any harm, and I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.

Since then I have continued to read a number of blogs from adoptive parents and expecting adoptive parents. And I have received a small number of emails on the topic. And I have felt pretty bad about one aspect of what I said. Increasingly so.

The intentions may have be good. Sitting here, as a healthy person who never was drunk in his life (yeah, call me names… I can handle it), it is easy to pass judgment. But once I got off my high horse I started to realize that the real world out there is a wee bit more complicated.

People battle depression. Whether it is brought on by the fight against infertility. Or by simply the amount of pain and problems that is piling up in your life. Triggered by the lack of sleep after adding a child or two to your life – and the feeling of failing at the most important thing you ever wanted to do, being a parent. Or by a million of other potential issues.

And people battle alcoholism. Good people. Great parents. People who are winning the fight.

My posting was brushing this off talking about the “small time window” that the CCAA appears to be looking at. Ignoring the fear that this strikes in people. Ignoring the fact that some of these people are in the middle of the process and suddenly fear that they can’t continue on the path that they are on. In one case a mother of a daughter from China suddenly had to realize that the sister that she wanted for her daughter will not be from China. This may sound trivial to some of you. Especially those who haven’t adopted – don’t repeat my mistake. This is not easy on people. Not at all.

To anyone who was hurt by my words, I am sorry. I think I now understand much better that this is an even more complicated problem than I thought; one that is very personal and has a huge impact on many people; and one that doesn’t have an easy answer.

1 Comment »

One Response to “Eating my words…”

  1. Johnny on 05 Feb 2007 at 6:11 pm #

    I think it’s honorable to admit that your thinking has changed and blog it.

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